she dreamed a sweet dream. where she stood beside her beloved. the image of everlasting peaceful love filled her soul…
– in these times? good luck finding Mr. Right.
Disclaimer: I only speak of the lessons life teach. I am not jaded. At least, not yet.My Story
I was a scrawny little girl in grade 5 when a boy picked on me because I was the easiest girl to bully. I remember he grabbed at me, and pulled my dress up. I punched back. When the teacher stood us in front of the class and gave us each seven whacks of her whip, I cried like a baby. [I only had to hold out my palm. The unfortunate boy however, was struck on his backside; and I learnt a valuable lesson]:
Do let boys take responsibility.
I remember my first kiss chased me for almost a mile around the streets in our neighborhood.
These days, the boys are just too lazy.
Take the man who meets me once and texts – instead of calling – to ask me out; or calls after 10 pm as if my job is to wait up for him. And the man who talks about marriage after one week of knowing me; or the man who calls once a week to ask why I haven’t called him. Worse yet is the foolish man who expects to be invited into my home because he’s counted 3 dates… in 3 months!
Sigh. Is chivalry truly dead?Lola’s Story
Lola is this girl I know who lost herself for years to Mr. Potential and irresponsible Mr. Bullshit. – While she fell in-love, they enjoyed the benefits of loving her back. Her unbalanced relationships eventually took its toll, and one day – instead of whining – Lola sat down to write her rules:
Yes please! the ex, the mistake you made last week, the junk you put up last year– give it away; if it cost too much, sell it.
Back to my story
I’ve said that boys begin the dating game long before girls realize it is a game, and that the goal is to win – so I try to win too.
But I should have learnt another important lesson that day in grade 5:
Whip on the backside at the age of 5 is painful. Word!
In the idealised world of my contemplations, I often think of instituting a dating game that turns the usual rules on its head. Instead of trying to win, the objective is to try to lose/tick off/scare off as many as you can. Considering that so many seem to have issues finding Mr/Ms. Right, this game will likely have a higher hit rate, using the Darwinian concept of exclusion. Closer to evolution!
Enjoyed the post.
Glad to see you back, btw!
kisses! thank you!
Haha Halin. I grew up in an eastern Nigerian city where the practice of teachers whipping students as a disciplinary measure is common, even today. The problem (I think) is that many teachers come with their frustrations from home and tend to take it out on the kids.
On ticking off people- I do that pretty well 🙂
i can understand why you don’t show your face in the picture, as most of us prefer to preserve our facial identity. but i would love to see your smile.
hehe! I’m slowly warming up to the idea. 🙂
So glad to have you back
Hey Boomie! I owe you an email!! I know..
I believe is alright to meet those mistakes. Ive have a couple, maybe. Im glad i did. It had taught me how to appreciate the next. It has taught me how the next should NOT be. As for Mr. Right, he comes when we least expect him to. Beautiful post. 🙂
Thanks darl. I read somewhere to be grateful for meeting the wrong people because when the right ones come along, we’ll know it – and its true.
Thanks for commenting 🙂
Indeed. 🙂
Glad you are back, Nifti, and with a bang!
Hey Celeste! Means a lot coming from you! So glad to have had all the support 🙂
Where the hell were you!?
Anyway, nice observation about the way men operate nowadays. And the main reason for men being so lazy in my estimation is the internet and online dating.
Men are so in-tuned to not talking to women over the phone and stuff, that they simply opt for texting 24/7, etc.
Got ya. But really is irritating because texting in my opinion is very impersonal. And most times, doesn’t get the right message across.
Welcome back Nifti! Nice to “see” you again 🙂
Thank you Rosy! Totally missed this comment… Sorry for responding late. Thanks much for all the support. 🙂
It would be an understatement to say welcome back, but I am so very happy you are…bringing the brightness of your heart and spirit back to us! Thanks for the joy of the moment today…and please bring us many more! Much love to you always my sister!
Thanks so much for visiting Mr. Wendell! Should be back reading more frequently soon 🙂
Welcome back! I’ve missed you. Yes, Yes, Yes…it is about letting go and truly believing the pain was a gift to get you where you needed to be…valuing yourself and all the people that are truly worthy of you!
yaay!! glad to hear. Just came by your blog and read a it about the ‘boys night out, and pregnant wife question’ hehehe. Will be going back to read more 🙂
Thanks! Always appreciative of kindness!
Nifti!!!!!! I am glad to read this…… excited you are back…..Thank you for this beautiful piece. I need to love me more and letting go is so not easy for me but I am learning…….. Mr. Right had better hurry up!…….
Hehehe! So there with you!!!!!
So very well told. 🙂
😉 hi Alarna, thanks for stopping in 🙂
Thank you Nifti for your visit tonight! Have a very blessed day!
🙂 love isn’t easy
i think we can all agree…
Yes sir! We can 🙂
If I might share my thoughts. Yes, many of us want to ‘win’ in love but it all depends on one’s definition of ‘win’.
Is it a zero sum game – I win, you lose? I reckon the real win is when we both win.
But society and the media teaches us what it means to ‘win’ – poor teachers these.
I am married for 33 years to the same woman. We love each other more than when we first started out. I reckon it is because we have both won and accumulated trophies of love.
Very true! The best is when we can both win, and for each person to really define what it means (to them) to win. Thank you for sharing about your lovely wife. Very inspiring 🙂