One says he loves me. I say prove it. He cannot, so he walks away. The next one speaks of an unfailing commitment to his future wife, while another just wants to be friends. One wants to be more than friends and the other plans to marry another, yet he loves me all the same! One wants everything and the other – well, he’ll take what he can get. But there is one….
The one I await; who will add to, and challenge me. He will prove his love, be my friend, and be more than friends. He will plan our future and marry only me. Because he will wait: He will wait to show his unfailing love and commitment to me, and will trust in my faith and undying love for him. Then I will give everything, because he will wait. 🙂
IN THE MEAN TIME, I”LL HAVE FUN
I am constantly reprimanded when I make this seemingly very naive statement. Everyone’s got something to say—acquaintances, best friends, colleagues, parents, and even former lovers:
“You should find someone and get married soon.”
“Find your self a nice guy and settle down.”
“Fun? what kind of fun are you having?!”
And my favorite, “If I knew I’d be single this long, I’d have stayed with my ex—.”
I’m not terribly old really—a baby my most standards; but I am reminded everyday that time waits for no woman. I must disagree. We’ve got nothing but time. As much time as it takes to prepare for, and ascertain Mr. Right.
MY DECISION
Clearly stems from experience. I’ve been in love—a long time ago. We didn’t last because I was just as selfish as he. I remember thinking I wanted more. No, I needed more. And he did too because everything he wanted for us was his dream not mine. So off I went to find myself.
This type of courage exists only in the young ones. As age and the fear of loneliness sets in, our minds begin to panic, and we start making decisions for everyone else but ourselves.
…Amid the search for me, I found Mr. Full-of-Promises. When I finally started realizing that his promises would remain just that, his supporters insisted that I be more patient. Until I ran into Mr. Bullshit (the dude was full of shit) who wasted more years of my life. And then there was Mr. Potential…. Nothing upsets me more now, than when I hear this dreadful combination of words.—He has potential. Potential for what exactly? Wealth? Love? Healthy kids? What man doesn’t have some potential? The interest should be in what he’s got NOW, not what I might like in the future.
I too love the story of the princess and the frog, but in the real world, frogs do not become princes.
Just Saying.
Now I must visit the one who will take everything. I thought he must be absolutely nuts; but the attraction was incredible. He was convinced of a planned indecent activity by all women to lure him into marriage. He was obvious—partly because he wanted it this way. Ultimately his hope was to derail me, and keep me dependent. By now my past had taught me to make for safety as soon as I can. So I endured the cancelled dates, condescending remarks, and backstabbing. Until suddenly, fate intervened, and I moved on.
THEN THERE WAS ONE
I am probably making yet another mistake, but time will tell. Right now, I am having fun. I love him and he loves me just as much. I am living like I want to. My dreams feel less like a dream. Again, acquaintances, best friends, colleagues, parents, and even former lovers have something to say:
“Wow this guy really does like you huh?”
“You should marry this one, he is really trying.”
Mind Your Business.
I’m told life is short so while I wait, I will live; certain to avoid severe long-term trauma by waiting for Mr. Right-When-I’m-Ready.
83 Comments
Post a commentI’ve got potential! Potential for Wealth, Love, Healthy kids etc… Haha!!
I love Mr. Full-of-promises although I think he’s the same as Mr. Potential-he’s full of promises, she thinks he’s potential.
Great post here.
Thank you James. You are right, mr. potential and Mr. promises are one and the same. Great suggestion.
I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for stopping by my blog and for the follow.
Oh not a problem at all. Your work is great.
I am officially stalking your blog lol, and I am enjoying your posts. Where in West Africa did you grow up? From some of your posts, I am assuming Nigeria
Feel free to stalk 🙂
But really, I must have read everything on yours, and you have far more posts than I do! Yes, the infamous Nigeria, I suspected you might be Yoruba? when I rumaged your blog.
Yes I am lol. Yea, I post alot…I like to think I am a writer LOL! Thanks again, I am enjoying your blog. Good stuff on there, gutsy too, I like that!
Hehe. It’s my E-personality 😀
🙂
Thank you for following my blog. 🙂
Not a problem. It is great!
Thanks! 🙂
“Mind your business”, you’re totally right to say this word. I agree! Hahaa…..:)
Haha. I wish I was bold enough to actually say it!
🙂
*Just had stomach cramps*..:D 😀 D 😀 Great post here, really – something that so much women could relate to. And yeah, enjoy with that ‘ONE’ you have now! 😉 -Jenn
Thanks Jenn. will do! 🙂
I have nominated you for the versatile bloggers award, for instructions on how to accept please check http://sharingmemyselfandi.wordpress.com/2012/05/07/my-first-blog-award-versatile-bloggers-award/
Thanks A lot! I don’t quite yet know what to do with these awards. Truth is, I don’t know enough bloggers to pass it on! 😦
You’re welcome.
That’s ok – just know that I enjoy your posts. I’m new here too & trying to learn the ropes.
PeAce!
Thank you. I enjoy yours very much too 🙂
Thanks again 🙂 Official thanks on my blog’s sidebar: http://niftitalks.com/thank-you/
Love, Peace, Happiness & Blogging 🙂
Ha ha ha! I love this post. In Ghana, we have the ‘Mr. Otua’, that is Mr Pays who pays all your bills. We make use of him for all our needs just like he also uses us for his sexual needs. You know the funny things is that the men keep searching just as we also keep searching. ‘We all we de suffer!’
Thanks for commenting 🙂
‘Mr. Otua’ huh?! not a bad idea 😀
The best advice I can give is that friendship should come first. My BFF has been my husband, lover, and soul mate now for almost 46 years and we are still madly in love with absolute trust and loyalty. The bodies grow old but the heart, mind and soul are still as young as the day we met…..
How sweet. Yes, friendship first is always the best 🙂
Hello! I have nominated you for the sunshine award. Please check out my website http://www.walktheline85.wordpress.com for instructions on how to accept. Thanks for your continued support!Have a great Sunday!
Thanks Peyton85. Official thanks on my blog’s sidebar: http://niftitalks.com/thank-you/
I’ve nominated YOU for a BEAUTIFUL Blogger Award!
http://sharingmemyselfandi.wordpress.com/2012/06/05/overwhelmed-with-blog-awards/
PeAce!
This post was too much fun to read! “Mind Your Own Business” was mind blowing.. lol
In the nutshell, LIVE YOUR LIFE THE WAY YOU WANT, CARE A DAM OF WHAT WORLD CONSPIRES!!
Loved it!
Regards,
-Naima.
Thanks Naima! You got it! “Live your life the way you want!” Thank you for your very motivating comment 🙂
You’re more than welcome 🙂
-Naima.
It sounds like you know exactly what you want and therein lies happiness! My grandma used to say, “Mind your own bee’s wax!” Hahaha!
Great post1
Thank you Susie!
Hey, Nifti. Susie Lindau’s Use and Abuse Me day sent me here. Loved the tone and feeling behind this post, particularly that you don’t leave out the sex. 😉 Has to be great, right? Or else why are we wasting our time?
LOL! Yes, I agree! Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
But your life will be anything but short 😉 I’m delighted to be connected here in this digital dimension of frivolities, imagination and creativity. 😉
Haha! You are right Mr. Crisp! Anything but… Gladly connected too 🙂 Please come back again.
Will do 😉
friends??? blahhhh worst line ever.
Exactly!!!
Mrs. Sparkly’s Ten Commandments Award for you!
http://sharingmemyselfandi.wordpress.com/2012/06/14/attacked-by-awards/
nice to read of your exploits 🙂
hehe. Glad you like 🙂
Glad I found your blog. Thanks for following me. ’I’m finally on Facebook, the demon of social media. I’m sitting alone here in my tiny dark corner of Facebook waiting for your visit. Please come and see my new Facebook page and for heaven sakes…Like me!!
http://www.facebook.com/SimplyKarmicDiva
love this … who found who? doesn’t matter, I’m sticking around for awhile.
He says he found me. I don’t tell him I ‘marked’ him first 😉
Thanks for stopping by and following my blog. Keep up the interesting writing.
🙂 will do.
Life’s too short, indeed! No rule insists one needs someone in the journey. If it happens, fabulous. Else, having peace in solitude for company isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Yes, when one can have fun (including but not exclusive to, sex), no reason to complain at all.
PS: The enthusiastic agreement comes from a practitioner. 🙂
PPS: I liked the ‘baby by most standards’ reference! Thank you for discovering me online, for I got the opportunity of discovering you!
And Thank you for stopping by, and commenting 🙂
life is too short indeed…, i laughed so so much at your ” About” page…
you funny as hell and kinda reminds me of another friend here ” Land of Fun”
THANK YOU for the follow on my blog and i am returning the favor back
Haha. Glad you liked. I was thinking about another post – I Wanna Be… Free – as I read your bio 🙂 gladly following you. Looking forward to future communication with you.
same same and yes be freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee in all….
I enjoyed reading this! 🙂 Im glad i stumbled upon this blog. I have a feeling that Im gonna be a frequent visitor. 🙂
Yay! Will love to have you 🙂
Love it! Having fun is, well… FUN! I, too, am having fun; he loves me, i love him, we have incredible sex, we are the greatest friends and we have a deep connection. Are we official? No. Will we be one day? Perhaps. Is marriage in question? Never even came up. But I feel good, and so does he. I’m still technically single, and so is he. but we both give each other exclusivity. We both trust. It’s “fun” and genuine.
I wrote a poem about it… check it out! —>>> https://amoonfull.wordpress.com/2012/07/24/in-lavender-essence/
Awww, the poem is beautiful 🙂
And yes I get it, that’s what its about. The two of you making a decision to be exclusive rather than feeling forced pretend you are. And enjoying yourself throughout the experience 🙂
YES! Exactly. There is nothing forced. There are no limiting titles. There is no sense of obligation. And it’s because of these very reasons that we have grown closer and closer. I must admit that at first I was a bit weary about our ‘relationship status’. And I realized that I was still learning myself and I owed it to myself to not be consumed with the dreadful ‘duty’ of being a girlfriend. And now, here I am, loving myself more than ever, and loving him more than I thought I would. It’s wonderful! OMG, did I just ramble? Well, I guess that’s MY life in short 😉
Haha! yes, exactly. and perfect! 🙂
Waiting gets you nowhere, sex is fun and things don’t have to change with age. Enjoyed you, thank you
Thank you for reading. Glad you could connect 🙂
Thanks for reading my blog. I enjoyed reading yours as well and will follow it. Hope you will follow my blog as well. Best wishes,beebeesworld
Of course beebee. Your blog is beautiful. And that bright green color is very inviting 🙂
Hello! I look forward to really diving into your blog. Also, thank you for following my blog at Faith1st Ministry. I hope it has and will continue to be a major blessing in your life. May God richly bless you as you continue to write and blog. Please continue with us on this journey and remember to have Faith 1st. — Sebastian
Thank you for the wishes Sebastian. I enjoy your blog.
I apologize for the late response.
You’re welcome…thank you for being who you are and may the Lord continue to lead and strengthen you in Him!
Hi Nifti! Just wanted to let you know that you’ve been nominated the “One Lovely Blog Award.” =D
You are so incredibly eloquent! Life is for living, so I wish you all the fun you can have…and more besides 😉
Thanks for reading Alarna! My recent experiences should make for a great post too, if only I can get myself to write!
Hi there,
I’m compiling a free e-book about the Greatest Articles and I’m featuring excellent comments. Your thoughts in “What if.. You Sleep 2 Hours a Day” is a standout! I’m asking permission if I could include your words in the book?
All the best,
Justin G. Bautista
Yes sir, of course you may. I went by to find my comment but was having problems reloading.
Thank you! That’s exactly what we’re fixing right now.
I’ll inform when it’s released. What name would you like it to be attributed?
Nifti works fine 🙂
NiftiTalks
Sure!
⊥h@Nʞ U f0R F0LL0Wing di–G|+@L hEgEm0n d–0.o–b
Lol, you are very welcome 🙂
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