One says he loves me. I say prove it. He cannot, so he walks away. The next one speaks of an unfailing commitment to his future wife, while another just wants to be friends. One wants to be more than friends and the other plans to marry another, yet he loves me all the same! One wants everything and the other – well, he’ll take what he can get. But there is one….

The one I await; who will add to, and challenge me. He will prove his love, be my friend, and be more than friends. He will plan our future and marry only me. Because he will wait: He will wait to show his unfailing love and commitment to me, and will trust in my faith and undying love for him. Then I will give everything, because he will wait. 🙂

IN THE MEAN TIME, I”LL HAVE FUN

I am constantly reprimanded when I make this seemingly very naive statement. Everyone’s got something to say—acquaintances, best friends, colleagues, parents, and even former lovers:

“You should find someone and get married soon.”

“Find your self a nice guy and settle down.”

“Fun? what kind of fun are you having?!”

And my favorite, “If I knew I’d be single this long, I’d have stayed with my ex—.”

She Asked For It

I’m not terribly old really—a baby my most standards; but I am reminded everyday that time waits for no woman. I must disagree. We’ve got nothing but time. As much time as it takes to prepare for, and ascertain Mr. Right.

MY DECISION

Clearly stems from experience. I’ve been in love—a long time ago. We didn’t last because I was just as selfish as he. I remember thinking I wanted more. No, I needed more. And he did too because everything he wanted for us was his dream not mine. So off I went to find myself.

This type of courage exists only in the young ones. As age and the fear of loneliness sets in, our minds begin to panic, and we start making decisions for everyone else but ourselves.

…Amid the search for me, I found Mr. Full-of-Promises. When I finally started realizing that his promises would remain just that, his supporters insisted that I be more patient. Until I ran into Mr. Bullshit (the dude was full of shit) who wasted more years of my life. And then there was Mr. Potential…. Nothing upsets me more now, than when I hear this dreadful combination of words.—He has potential. Potential for what exactly? Wealth? Love? Healthy kids? What man doesn’t have some potential? The interest should be in what he’s got NOW, not what I might like in the future.

I too love the story of the princess and the frog, but in the real world, frogs do not become princes.

Just Saying.

Now I must visit the one who will take everything. I thought he must be absolutely nuts; but the attraction was incredible. He was convinced of a planned indecent activity by all women to lure him into marriage. He was obvious—partly because he wanted it this way. Ultimately his hope was to derail me, and keep me dependent. By now my past had taught me to make for safety as soon as I can. So I endured the cancelled dates, condescending remarks, and backstabbing. Until suddenly,  fate intervened, and I moved on.

THEN THERE WAS ONE

I am probably making yet another mistake, but time will tell. Right now, I am having fun. I love him and he loves me just as much. I am living like I want to. My dreams feel less like a dream. Again, acquaintances, best friends, colleagues, parents, and even former lovers have something to say:

“Wow this guy really does like you huh?”

“You should marry this one, he is really trying.”

Mind Your Business.

I’m told life is short so while I wait, I will live; certain to avoid severe long-term trauma by waiting for Mr. Right-When-I’m-Ready.

To be continued…